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♥ Thursday, October 9, 2008 @ 10:45:00 AM
` boy, i know you'll be here everyday to take a glance if i did update any post. i'm sorry, i hurt you. i thought we can move on after that night when we talk things out. however, things didn't move on as expected. i still have mixed feelings in me. i'm sorry. you used to control me .. stealing my freedom away from what my parents gave me. it's just like you're replacing them controlling my life. i tried to fight for my freedom, but sometimes, i still failed to. you used to not understand me. remember when you just served NS, yes, i waited for you. but you'll never understand how much i suffered during this period of time. i wanted to go out with friends, you always allowed unwillingly. when i'm out, you talked to me in a very harsh voice. and yes, go out once, quarrel once. can you imagine how many quarrels we've gone through? just like a snowball, when it rolls down, it accumulates more snow, and hence, it gets bigger and bigger.. same applies to the problems we had in our r/s. you know i don't like to be controlled, i want my life. now, i know you've changed, but, i hope you understand, everything is too late. "when a jailbird has been kept too long in it's cages, even when you opened the door to it, it will not fly out for it's freedom anymoree .. " of course, there are more accumulation of other stuffs that makes me feel so tired of r/s. because, i'm yet to face the world. i'm yet to enjoy my life. and i'm yet to enjoy any freedom... mindset do changes. In fact, this r/s makes me realised, nothing is forever/everlasting, noone is perfect, promises are nothing but words .. i hope you can move on. you've really changed to a good man. i believe you can be a good bf, a good husband. (: just let fate decides everything, alright? (:  |
